Not there.

You know how something meant to be inspirational instead produces the feeling of "Wow.  I am. so. not. there."  Well, that's exactly where I am. 

I've been reading adoption blogs today.  Which is generally a helpful and informative and encouraging sort of activity.  But today I am feeling...deflated...overwhelmed...and under-resourced. 

Here I am, trying to keep my head above water as I parent and home school the three small children already in my possession, wondering if I'm giving them what they need, while planning, saving, researching, praying, and dreaming for the adoption of kiddo #4.  And today I read of an amazing woman, whose blog I follow, who has begun the process to adopt her SIXTH child from China, her....wait for it....TENTH child altogether.  Now I must say that I truly count it a blessing to have discovered this gal and her blog.  She has indeed inspired me, informed me, blessed me.  But today, all I can think is, "Who IS this person?  Clearly she and her husband are of the super-human variety.  And OBVIOUSLY they are printing money in their basement!"

Hers wasn't the only blog I read today, lest you think I'm heaping all the blame at her feet.  (I'm really just kidding.  Stefanie is a gifted woman of God whom I admire and respect.)  Clearly I have some emotions to process, and some praying to do. 

And this helps, too:

Psalm 18:31-35 (NLT)

For who is God except the Lord?

Who but our God is a solid rock?

God arms me with strength,

and he makes my way perfect.

He makes me as surefooted as a deer,

enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

He trains my hands for battle;

he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.

You have given me your shield of victory.

Your right hand supports me;

your help has made me great.