On Being the Dear Husband, Part 2

Part 2, guest post by Vince

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I mentioned in Part 1 that Jerusha knew when it was time to adopt. Having heard nothing myself, I had to trust that she was hearing clearly. Somewhere I got the idea that when it comes to big decisions, God speaks to both spouses so they’ll be in agreement, and then it’s simply a matter of obeying. Not so much.

It makes sense. In speaking to just one person, he calls the other to exercise faith, trust, and love. I’ve often had the role of getting the direction, and my wife has faithfully followed my lead, even when she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the decision.

Now it was my turn to be the follower. Not so easy. I now have some idea how Joseph must have felt when the angel finally filled him in on the divine plan. “Oh, I see, immaculate conception. You know, it would have been nice to know about this before my fiancée got pregnant. And why am I the last to know about this? I am the man, after all—priest of the home and such—isn’t the idea that God speaks to me, and I pass this along to the wife and kids?” (By the way, I can’t find the “priest of the home” business in the Bible. Don’t tell my wife—I wouldn’t want her thinking she has direct access to God. I like to feel needed.)

But my wife was pregnant with the purpose of God, as they say. Changing metaphors, she had the locomotive started, and I realized very quickly that the train was leaving with or without me. A note to the DHs out there: Do not try to stop this train. This train will run over you. It is impervious to your well-reasoned arguments for delay. You might as well try stopping a woman in labor—because that is exactly what the adoptive mother-to-be is.

It’s nice on board the train. I’ve wished at times it would slow down a bit—why does every hurdle in the adoption process have to be jumped at the earliest possible moment? (Answer: So the documents obtained in the beginning of the process don’t expire before the end of the process. Who knew this was so complicated?) But I like the company, and I know the destination will make even the agonizing parts of the journey (and there have been a few) worthwhile.