Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Being brave together

This afternoon we walked with our guide about 15 minutes to Nanjing Children's Hospital.  We won't be going to his orphanage, but we wanted to see where Jiushu had his surgery when he was two weeks old.

He was calm in his stroller walking about, but once we came back to the room he cried and cried and cried some more.  We laid on the bed together and I cried along with him.  My husband encouraged me to meet this difficult situation with faith and hope, something I cannot do in my own strength outside of God's mercy and love.  I was struck by how very brave this little boy has been in his life.  He has every right to cry his eyes out.  I would too.  So as we lay there together I said to my son, "I will be brave with you.  We will do this together, OK?  I'm proud of you...you've been so brave."  If he can do it, so can I, right? 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1: 8-10 

"When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I will not be afraid."
Psalm 56: 10

This evening Vince and I explored more of Nanjing.  And by "explore" I mean circle the same few blocks while J is happy in his stroller.  He actually fell asleep, so we stopped by KFC for sandwiches.  Not great, not terrible.  Headed to bed now.  A few more pics of today: 


Nancy said...

I feel for him. I think, as parents, we just want to take all the pain away. Prayers he will feel the love.
Keep up the good work, Mama.
PS-He really is stinkin' cute! Even when he's sad.

Michelle said...

Praying for your sweet boy and for you, Jerusha. I'm praying that the Lord would comfort his little heart and that Jiushu would allow you to help him through his grief. I anticipate being in your exact situaiton a week from now. . .

asian~treasures said...

Good grief...takes a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

He's such a cute little guy!! Glad you were able to visit the hospital & get a glimplse of where he was for a portion of his life in China.

Enjoy the day with you SON!!!

Linds said...

Be strong mama! The hotel room was the worst for Sisay. He'd begin screaming as soon as we climbed the stairs to go to our room. Praying for you! So I'm anxious to know how big your little man is...I can't tell in the pictures. Continuing to pray!

Leslie said...

Having been in China to get my treasure only 5 weeks ago, I can feel what you are going through. In 5 weeks though, my girl is so much better. God will restore all that is broken in his little heart and you will be amazed at how fast he lets you become his momma and comfort him.

Nicole said...

This post brought tears to my eyes, Jerusha. Maybe it's because we leave for China in 3 days and I will soon be in your shoes. LOL.

We are praying for your family here in Baltimore. You, DH and Jiushu are strong in the Lord and He will get all three of you through this time.

Rita and John said...

He is so, so sweet. I especially love the last photos of him with his father. Praying that every day is a little easier for all of you.

rocket.p.grenade said...

Oh, J. I'm so proud of you. We believe in you and what you're doing. Hang in!! This is going to be soooo worth it. :)
Love love love.

The Raudenbush Family said...

And, I have tears reading this right along with you. Be thankful that he is able to express his confusion and his fear--and do exactly what you are doing. Be there, ready to grieve with him. I've heard people say not to try to get the children to stop crying--just be there when they do so they know you are safe and you will not ever leave them.

You are such a good mommy to him --

Cedar said...

{{{{hugs}}}}, prayer, tears. I have nothing else to offer, but know we are praying for your family.

Joyful Mama at WAGI

2girlpadgetts said...

Hey, we just arrived home on the 21st from China. Joelle had a horrible time in the hotel rooms but traveled very well. We avoided "triggers" for Joelle. If she fell asleep in her stroller or wanted to stay in it, while in the hotel rooms, we let her. For some reason, being in the hotel room where there were beds SCARED her. For naps, we hung out by the pool (White Swan), and she would fall asleep in my arms. In public, she would cling to us, but in the hotel rooms, she kept trying to get out. We will be praying for you! By the way, I did wear my "bird earrings" when we flew to China and picked up Joelle on Mother's Day! We've been a family of six now for almost 3 1/2 weeks and she has mellowed out so much--esp. once we arrived home! We know that "all things are possible with the Lord" and KNOW that each day, you will see more growth and attachment with your new son!
Jen Padgett

Lynne said...

Oh Jerusha, I wish I could say it gets better. For for me personally I feel like my sense of Joni's loss and pain only gets sharper and deeper the more I get to know her and the more she lets me in. However God has given us both the strength to be brave and to see her small steps of healing. Each step brings us both more hope! I'm so glad you are finally with your son and he finally has you and your husband by his side.

Lynne from WAGI

Stephanie said...

He is so beautiful! It is so hard to see them so sad, but you are being such a good mommy to him!
All the pics of the hospital bring back memories! We spent quite a bit of time there! Glad you got to visit it for his sake.

D said...

Dear Jerusha, I can only imagine.....
I read each of your posts and cry with joy! Your words help me grow closer to you and Vince and to my grandson Jiushu.
I read every one of your fellow adoptive parents posts and I also cry with joy at how much they seem to feel what you're feeling and their sensitivity to our little J's grief and loss. I'm especially moved at their precious words of support and encouragement.

We pray and eagerly await Jiushu to be with his brother sisters and us!

We can't possibly express how full of joy our hearts are over your decision and commitment to demonstrate the love God has for us in Christ (even to adopt us!)

We love you! Dad and Mom

M. said...

Oh, what blessing to see you guys finally united! Sorrow will last for a night, BUT that joy will come in the morning. How precious to grieve together. Take it easy, treasure each moment, stake your faith deep. God will continue to take you through this journey -- ALL the way through.