Wednesday, September 28, 2011

stubborn...determined...my kid

Shu surprised us the other day with his new skill--standing up with absolutely no support.



Please excuse the cluttered mess showing in every picture.  I cropped the best I could, and I wish I had a fancy camera (and the know-how to use it) that would beautifully blur the backgrounds of photos.  Come to think of it, I wish my eyes...and my mind...worked that way.  Come on brain, focus in!  Blur everything else! 


Could his legs be any wider apart?  Not exactly the ideal stance, according to his physical therapist.  But it's a great start.  He'll work it out.




He's crazy proud of himself...can you tell?  In case you forgot, this is the child who could not (or would not) sit up when we met him four months ago.  The orphanage staff truly believed he might never walk.  {insert eye roll of incredulity}  In every instance where we've tried to help him learn something new, he has resisted us with irritation, at best, and rage, at worst.  Feeding himself Cheerios, tummy time, crawling, bearing weight on his legs, pulling up, pushing his baby walker.  Pretty frustrating, really.  But...give him a few days or a week...and he'll do it on his own, thankyouverymuch.  He gets in a pretty good hour each week with his physical therapist before he decides he's had enough of her telling him what to do, albeit in a gentle, playful way.  (She's great.)  And then he has an emotional meltdown.  All done!  (sign it with me)

The food anxieties are subsiding a bit as Shu realizes there's more and he can trust us.  He's now figured out there might be choices and that he may have preferences.  Of course, mommy is still in control of the food...he is only 16 months old, remember...and this is sometimes loathsome to our little guy.  This morning he staged a stand-off over the drinking of his milk.  He had finished his big bowl of cereal, and it was milk time.  He was ticked that there was no more cereal at that point, so he rejected his bottle.  Now you have to understand that his milk to him is like a narcotic to which he is heavily addicted.  And he had already eaten a large portion of cereal.  So his rejecting the milk was just a control thing, I think.  Do 16-month-olds really grasp that?  Mine seems to.  I put the milk away.  He sat on the floor and screamed.  I ignored his screaming.  An hour later he drank his milk.

He staged a similar fight today at lunch.  The kid wants what he wants, and I guess it's probably a good sign that he has a preference and can express it.  Doesn't mean he's gonna win, though.  There's always more food, but it isn't necessarily the food he wants.  So at lunch he threw food on the floor and was removed from his high chair.  Again with the screaming.  Again with the ignoring.  And later...he changed his mind and ate the rest of his lunch.

The moral of this story is that I have one stubborn, determined child.  He is a fighter.  And like me, he doesn't always pick the right fight.  I can often see the little gears turning in his head, as he decides whether or not to trust, to comply, to let mom and dad be in control.  Our gears are turning too...trying to figure out his needs vs. his wants...how best to show him that we love him and that we can be trusted.  He's learning.  We're learning. 

Can't help but be proud of him, stubborn determination and all.  In this way he may turn out to be a whole lot like his mama.  That and the brown hair, of course. 

8 comments:

Krissy said...

I've chatted with someone recently at how HARD strong willed children are to raise as children and teenagers... but if you can get them through that alive (as dr dobson says)... they are usually pretty AMAZING adults... I think firecracker is going to be just like that too!

Stephanie said...

Dobson also says the traits that frustrate us the most when they are children are the traits we will admire the most in them as adults. I really enjoy reading your posts and appreciate your honesty and candor. I think you are doing an amazing job!

Rita and John said...

Just look at him standing up himself! We know something about strong-willed little boys in our household, too. :)

Melanie said...

He does look crazy proud! And happy!

Michelle said...

His determination will serve him well as he works hard to get caught up on everything. It sounds like you're doing a great job with him!

Beth G said...

Awesome! This post needs a like button! He sounds like he's doing so great, and you sound like you're doing a great job, Mama! Thanks for sharing your struggles and joys. They are often one and the same, aren't they? May God continue to bless your family!

Nancy said...

SOOOO proud of your boy from way over here in the desert! Ya, they don't always pick the right battles to fight and they grew SO strong will while they waited. But this pride will nudge him in the right direction!
Nancy

The Finney Family said...

I could just eat him up!!!
Precious!
Mary