Friday, December 31, 2010

Moving on

I've been struggling for days to come up with a blog post to convey my thoughts and feelings of the past week.  I kind of wish I could pay someone to write it for me...I have a few bloggers in mind who are so eloquent they make me cry...far too often!  But I'll do my best. 

As I wrote in an earlier post, we did not receive a referral off of December's new shared list.  Several days after the release of that list, I came across the information of a little boy who was on that list but not matched with a family yet.  I inquired of our agency and was then sent his file to review.  My heart was not prepared for the gravity of this knowledge:  real information about a baby boy, his name, his province, his medical need, his feeding schedule, the fact that he was found wrapped in a red blanket.  I didn't even look at his photos, thinking that I would surely lose all objectivity if  I did.  I confess that my pursuit of this information was ill-timed and unilaterally decided; hence my husband and I had a very emotionally difficult Christmas weekend.  We decided, however, to continue to seek answers and give prayerful consideration to adopting this little boy. 

Surprisingly, I was able to get some feedback from a handful of doctors throughout the holiday weekend and in the days following; I am incredibly thankful to the men and women who made time to weigh in, at no cost to us.

A week had passed since we were given this child's file, and still we did not have the answers we felt we needed to make a decision either way.  Our hearts were open, but doubt and concern persisted.  I continued to make phone calls, hoping to find the right specialist to review this file, and yes, hoping to avoid paying a high fee for this service.  We knew we were taking a risk in not locking in the file.  This past Monday I talked to one of the China team from our adoption agency who agreed to try to obtain some medical updates on the child.  

Several times in recent days I have stated:  If someone simply announced to us--'This one is your son!'--we would love him wholeheartedly, no regrets, and would provide him with whatever care he may need.  But the choosing...that's difficult for me.  Because of the complexity of this child's file (or perhaps, the complexity of my own emotions and thoughts?), I can hardly imagine having a mere 24 hours in which to make such a life-changing decision!  I know some who would have readily taken this leap of faith.  We just weren't there yet...that's the honest truth. 

On Thursday morning I received an email from our agency staff telling me she had obtained updates (I assume answers to questions I had asked)...but that she could no longer find the boy's name on the shared list.  Did I know if he had found a family?  she asked me.  I responded, saying no, I knew please let me know if his name happened to pop up again...otherwise, we would consider this a clear answer to our prayers for direction.

So that's it then.  I have not heard from her again, and I expect that I will not.  After a fairly painful weekend, literally hours and hours of research, and a dozen+ emails sent to doctors as well as total strangers who have adopted children with this same special need, I am coming to a new place of peace and trust in God's perfect leadership, especially in regards to our adoption.  We had been asking Him to speak "loud and clear" about our adopting this particular child, and we fully expected Him to do so, even through a closed door.  It is our sincere desire that this lovely boy finds his forever family; we hope he already has. 

My husband and I have recovered from our conflict, by the way.  Our marriage is growing stronger through this adoption process, though there is a very real enemy who, I believe, opposes anything that has to do with love or adoption or obedience (or joy, or truth, get my point).  We have felt this opposition strongly, but we are not unaware of his schemes.  

That brings me to some good news:  on Christmas Eve, right in the midst of our emotional brouhaha, I opened the mail to find a letter containing a check--a grant that we had applied for!  It's as if God was saying to us, "I see you now, right in the middle of your emotion; I understand that you are doing a new and difficult thing.  Please be assured that I love you.  Your obedience pleases me greatly.  I will continue to provide for you and will bring you great blessing and joy through this adoption."

So there you have it.  I'm sure there is much more I could say, more emotion I could plumb the depths of.  The truth is, I'm ready to move on, though grateful for the work the Lord has done in my heart (and in my marriage) through this process.  We now eagerly await the referral of the son He has perfectly chosen for our family, and we pray that we will have the grace and wisdom to make that decision quickly with peace and much joy. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

No call today

We did not receive a referral today.  I'm not gonna lie--I was nervous, and then anxious, and then sort of sickish, and then just plain disappointed.  I spent WAY too much time online today, commiserating with other waiting mommies.  But I spent some time reading the Bible and praying this afternoon...getting my head on straight.  And now I feel much, much better. 

It doesn't hurt that my sweet husband is home from work, and I have three precious (demanding, yes, but always precious) children clamoring about.  I am blessed.  God is good, and His timing is perfect. 

Thanks to those of you who have been praying.  Please continue.  We hope to receive a referral next month. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I found out late last night that our dossier has been logged in (in China), and we have an "LID"--log-in date of 12/10/10.  This means that we are eligible to receive the referral of a little boy any time now. . . and it could happen as soon as next week.  GASP. 

We've been praying for our son for many months, and we invite you to join us in praying several specific things:

  • For God's perfect timing, whether next week or next month, or the month after that.
  • For those doing the matching to have wisdom and be led by the Holy Spirit, even if they don't know it! 
  • For the right doctor(s) to be available and willing to review the medical information we'll receive, in a timely fashion.  (We have a very short window of time in which to make a huge decision.)               

There are certainly a hundred other things to pray about, but this is a good start.  Thanks!  Stay tuned for more information. . . 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


In my first ever, entirely non-adoption-related post, I'm going to write about. . . . spanakopita.  Because it's what we had for dinner this evening.  After a recent and deserved admonition from my husband that I might want to be a bit more, shall we say, enthusiastic about meal preparation, I decided to undertake the aforementioned spanakopita. 

Why, you ask?  Because my dear friend, upon being recently diagnosed with celiac disease, emptied her cabinets and refrigerator of all offending foods and brought them to my house.  And I became the owner of two never-opened boxes of phyllo dough. 

So, let me just say--I find working with phyllo dough extremely challenging.  I could not get one single sheet to peel off, untorn.  And my layers looked more and more ragged the longer I worked.  All this was made more difficult by an unwanted phone call--the longest and most ridiculous phone survey of a political nature...local politics, even!  As if I know anything about local politics except how much the city earnings tax annoys me.  All the while my kids are spilling water all over my (carpeted) kitchen floor and I'm up to my elbows in shredded phyllo dough and getting a cramp in my neck and wondering, SERIOUSLY, how many more questions is this gal going to ask me???

But THIS was the result. 

And they tasted AMAZING, despite being a bit irregularly shaped.

Want the recipe?  (I made a few minor changes, which will amuse my sister and everyone else who laughs at the recipe reviews in which so many alterations have been made that an entirely new recipe has been invented.)   Enjoy! 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

bling for our boy

I am creating beautiful, unique, handmade earrings to benefit our adoption. I hope you'll find something you love!
100% of the proceeds will go directly toward our adoption, helping us to bring home our son from China.   

All ear wires are nickel-free and hypo-allergenic, and include earring backs.  Some of the pieces have sterling silver ear wires or 14-karat gold plated wires (as noted).
#1--14 kt gold-plated ear wires--$15 $10
#2--natural shell, sterling silver ear wires--$15 $10

#4--$12 $10

#5--glass beads, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#6--$12 $10

#7--glass beads, 14 kt. gold-plate wires--$10
#8--a more delicate version of #58, glass beads, sterling ear wires--$10

The cost is $10 for any pair of earrings + FREE shipping (US only).  To purchase, please use the Buy Now button at the bottom of this post.  Please email me:  making sure I know which # or #'s you'd like to order, or leave a comment through Paypal.  You will only be able to make one purchase at a time (I apologize for the inconvenience), so if you wish to buy three pair of earrings (for instance), just "Buy Now" three separate times, selecting the correct price from the drop-down menu.  If you live locally and would like to pay cash and get the earrings in person (saving me the shipping cost), that'd be great!  Earrings will be carefully packaged and mailed to you within 48 hours of your purchase. If you see a style you like which has already been marked SOLD, please let me know--it's likely (but not guaranteed) I can make you another pair.   I am making more earrings, and will be adding new designs to the blog, so please check back.  Thanks!!!

#10--$12 $10

#21--$12 $10

#27--millefiori and faceted glass beads, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#33--faceted glass beads, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#34--genuine hematite and shell beads, sterling silver ear wires--$15 $10

#37--green glass beads, sterling silver ear wires--$15 $10

#38--purple glass beads, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#39--genuine hematite, sterling silver ear wires--$15 $10

#40--millefiori glass, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#42--natural shell and glass beads, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#43--red and yellow crystal, 14-karat gold-plate wires and beads--$15 $10
#44--genuine hematite, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#45--faceted glass, sterling ear wires--$15 SOLD

#46--genuine hematite, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

                                     #47--handmade glass panda bead, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#48--orange millefiori beads, sterling ear wire--$15 $10

#50--purple glass beads, gold plated ear wires and beads--$15 $10

#51--glass lampwork beads, gold plated ear wires and beads--$15 $10

#52--raspberry beads, gold plated ear wires and beads--$15 $10
#53--painted glass beads, sterling silver ear wires--$15 $10

#54--amethyst glass w/ bird beads, sterling ear wires--$15 $10

#56--sterling silver wires--$15 $10
I created #56 and #57 in honor of my friends whose newborn son recently went to be with Jesus.  The bird bead symbolizes HOPE ("the thing with feathers") as well as the comfort and presence of the Holy Spirit (Psalm 91:4 and Luke 3:22).

#58--sterling wires--$15 $10 SOLD
#59--glass beads, sterling ear wires--$10
#60--genuine hematite beads, gold and silver mix, sterling ear wires--$10

Wire types