Wednesday, February 15, 2012

bye for a while

Not that any of you has been holding your breath waiting for my next post.  But on the off chance that you have, or are wondering why I haven't been doing my usual commenting...

I'm going on a little blog fast.  Not sure for how long.  We are still on a quest to find some sort of peaceful, sustainable "normal" around here, particularly in this mama's emotions.  It appears that Shu has some degree of Apraxia of Speech, the discovery of which was both relieving and terribly discouraging, mostly the latter.  He will begin receiving more frequent speech therapy, and we are praying for wisdom about how to approach this challenge in a way that is not detrimental to our attachment. 

I know God is asking me to focus in right now for my own sake, to clear my head of some of the voices--both positive and negative--which are competing for my time and attention and energy.  I seem to be unable to stop comparing myself to others (no one's fault but my own, or perhaps another nefarious enemy who's been jacking with me) and feeling that I come up short every time.  Reading adoption blogs and forums is sucking me down, down, down...and like the recovering alcoholic who steers clear of the bar, I know I need to just step away for a while. 

Even while getting on here to post this I glimpsed my dashboard, and saw all the tantalizing post titles, just begging me to stop and read!  Lovely people whose journeys and kiddos I have come to care about!  I confess (and will confess to those I asked to keep me accountable) that I had to read a couple posts written by a dear bloggy gal pal, who wrote about her present emotional struggles and hesitance to blog about it.  So clearly she is not alone.  And neither am I.  But no more for right now.  Stick a fork in me.

I'm still on Facebook, so feel free to friend me there if you haven't already.   I think I'll be back.  In the mean time, may God's grace and love continue to abound to us all. 

11 comments:

Krissy said...

Sweet friend... ur blog will be greatly greatly missed, ur insight is amazing.
Love you!

Lindsay said...

Best wishes to you, Jerusha! I will miss you. I've taken an unintentional hiatus from blogging as well. It wasn't really calculated. It just happened. I'm going to stop feeling guilty about that (as if I need something else to feel guilty about).

Michelle said...

I will miss reading your blog, Jerusha! I have always appreciated your honesty and insights. Amelia also has some degree of apraxia. It is frustrating, to say the least, when she can't communicate, and I definitely get weary of hearing "mmm, hmmm, mmm" from her. BUT, she is making progress through therapy, and last week she finally figured out how to make an "n" sound. Trying to rejoice in the little things! I'll be praying for you all and that Shu will learn to use words in God's perfect time. I'll look for you on FB!

Jennifer said...

Sending you a big hug and lots of prayers! Hang in there sweetie! I'll look you up on FB!

Stephanie said...

Totally understand and support your decision. Will miss your blog-honesty-friendship...but will catch you on the Book of Face.
Will be praying for you and Shu and the whole gang as you embark on speech therapy.

Rita and John said...

I'll miss your blogs, but I understand, of course. I'll keep you and your family--Shu especially--in our prayers! Thank you for sharing this journey with us.

Johanna said...

Totally understand, I may be doing the same in the near future....balance is hard to find...some things just have to go. It'll be hard at first ....but, then it'll feel "freeing":) praying for your little man, and you, sweet Jerusha.

bbmomof2boys said...

Hi! Just happened on your blog via hemmesfamilyhappenings. I too have been on a bloggy break - for a year? Anyways, my daughter also has Apraxia of speech. She will be 6 in April and is at about a 3 yr old level in her speech. My granddaughter talks better than she does! Frustrating? You bet! We taught her a ton of signs to help her communicate which helped a lot. It took me pushing for a diagnosis which was frustrting too. Docs kept saying - she's only been home a year...she doesn't understand the English language yet. Really?? She was BABBLING at 30 months of age - not talking - babbling!

Anyway - just wanted to let you know I know what you are going through! Please email me if you want to talk or vent or whatever. I'm also on facebook!

Hugs,
Carla

Peggy said...

I'm going to miss your blog posts and watching your family grow! I hope you still post on the Holt forum now and then because so many new adoptive parents could learn from your honest insights. Praying for your family!

Martha @ Berrybliz said...

blessings to you..hope to see you back soon, but in the meantime know you are missed.

Sherry said...

Jerusha,

My 4 year old, Jacinda, was thought to have Apraxia of Speech. She also has a repaired cleft lip and palate, but it seemed as if her speech delay was more involved than her palate.

We saw a Neurologist recently, and he said an emphatic NO to Apraxia. He diagnosed her with Dysarthria, which I think is a generic, catchall diagnosis for unknown motor speech disorders.

Anyway, all of that to tell you that I've been down the Apraxia road for a while now. If you have questions, please let me know. I also know of a few Facebook groups for Apraxia resources. You should look into having him take ProEFA oil. There is some great evidence that it works well and quickly.

My email is scbwolfe@gmail.com

Sherry (scbusf from our agency's board)